Is it too much to ask for?

Is it to much to ask for someone to understand me?

Is it to much to ask for some way i could be good enough?

Is it to much to ask for someone to let me feel the way i do?

Why does it feel like everyone is against how i feel,Like everything i want to do to help myself, It feels like everyone doesn’t like want i want to do wants best for me i want something that i want to help myself get better…i do want to be happy but to other people it looks like i am not trying few days ago i thought about Overdosing so i can get rid of this pain,The reason i haven’t done it yet is that i don’t want to hurt anyone around me i want to do wants best for me you know,i sometimes feel like i’m being misunderstood,so i just hold my feelings and thought to myself my own mother doesn’t believe me when i am trying to be happy because i listen to depression songs first of all i listen to depression songs how i feel are in those songs and stuff she doesn’t know want i went though since i was born,grew up without a father when i was 7 my mom started dating my step dad and my real father started coming back around when i was 10 and that’s when my mom married my step dad when i was 10 and i got told at age 8 that i can’t see my sister ashlynn i last seen her was when i was 8 and when i was 10 i got made to do something to a 16 year old boy which he made me and when i was in first grade another first grader told me to go home and kill my mother so i cried while i told my mother and but when i can see her again is when she turns 16 this summer i can’t wait i’m mad at myself because i left the best man i have ever loved but he played with my heart and he also lost my heart and he also toke my heart right out of my chest I’ve been losing my heart 2 years ago in 2016 and i am also getting make fun of,making to many mistakes, and All of this is why i cut to lose some pain but i get sadder everyday,i might not seem like i’m not sad but i fake my laugh my smile i even fake my happiness……..Again last night i cut’d again 2 times last night one cut for feelings misunderstood and the other one is for feeling like i am invisible and feeling like the outcast……..

2 thoughts on “Is it too much to ask for?

  1. Courtney, you’re not invisible and you don’t need to cut yourself. You’ve had some terrible things happen to you in your life but you need to talk to a psychologist to help you move through them and forward. Otherwise you will keep dwelling on the problems and never get better. Stay strong 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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