Do you know want it’s like

Do you know want it’s like to fake a smile so people don’t know how bad you’re hurting?

Its sad when you fake to smile and laugh but yet you’r just dead inside i feel dead inside whenever i leave the house because when i leave the house i feel like i’m being judged and i just have so much weight on my shoulders, I cry every time i’m alone, When i’m alone i think of the song unbreakable  by faydee i get stucked into the words even mom said it sounds like i wrote the song but i didn’t because the song every word is how i feel i cry every time i listen to it,i have 3 friends who would hang out with me but one friend is who i hang out with almost every day she’s been through what i have but worst so she knows how to talk to me and stuff but that won’t stop me from going to church camp this summer coming up i feel like i am being kicked while i’m down i feel like i’m being left out (feeling like i’m being shut out) i’d rather not speak to anyone but i want to be heard i feel like i’m being pushed around i had a dream a few days ago that i jumped of a fishing dock while i jumped the crowed of people started laughing i try to make everyone happy but i never find time to make me happy, but in the same  time i am the one who gets hurt in the same time, things happen in my life that got me in depression and i never knew i would be like this ever, Cutting and stuff for one its hard to love someone who you used to know now its someone you knew and getting make fun of after did something with you’re ex and i lost my best friend last summer we were friend since kindergarten it crushed me when she broke our friendship and plus i haven’t seen my half sister but i don’t call her my half she is my sister full sister i say anyways i haven’t seen her since i was 8 years old, i sometimes wonder want i did wrong to have this done to me like this for 2 whole years. Like i said I am now seeing a therapist And today my dad is suppose to go into town to get my meds for my depression and also some meds they re giving me to help me sleep all night i can’t wait til i get some meds for my depression Can’t wait to see if it helps…

11 thoughts on “Do you know want it’s like

  1. Hi Courtney,
    Living with depression is difficult, and medication and therapy definitely helps, but having good, supportive people around you is definitely the best.
    It will take about 6 weeks for the meds to work consistently and then there’s a period of adjustment if there are side effects—your doctor may vary the dosage or the brand until you find the right one. My meds help me get a better night’s sleep, so hopefully you’ll get that benefit right away.
    Stay strong,
    Steve 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this message i toke my first med last night and it started working in minutes but i did’t take the night one i toke the one that helps with depression and Yeah i have some supportive from my family and my one friend She been in worst then me so she tells me that it will get better and i have cut’ed though 1 scare 2 yrs ago 1 more in October and 14 more on thanksgiving at 2 am on Tuesday morning my best friend she said that they might scare some will some won’t because i didn’t cut that deep you know she knows so i talk to her about this stuff and thank you for letting me and We Should be friend if you want to be friends? Lol anyways Thanks i needed to hear this today i’m having one of my days

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Good to know that you have started on meds. They will take some time to really kick in. In the meantime, do things that make your heart sing 🙂 Thank you, Courtney, for the follow. BTW, your surname is Worthy. Take it to heart – you ARE worthy !!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah,They changed my morning med and night meds because i have been seeing things at night and i am afraid to close my eyes even during the day and I will do something that makes my heart sing and you’re welcome and Thank you for this 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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